Denver Magazine / Denver Magazine January 2010 / Glo Knows: Selflessness

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Glo Knows: Selflessness

Doing what’s best for you has to be about you, for the good of those around you.

The holidays have gone, but your exhaustion hasn’t. Even though you are trying to exhale, it’s hard to do when you can’t stop kicking yourself for allowing your mother-in-law to take the happy out of your holidays yet again. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard this story. Don’t get me wrong. It’s wonderful to see family. I’m just not convinced the holidays are the best time to see them. I do love my family, but I am sooooo glad there’s a place called Texas. I have found that if I live within a 1,000 miles of my mother, I break out in a rash. Honey hush!

But I want to tell you, whatever drama took place over the holidays, let it go! Your mother-in-law and the lawettes have left your zip code (until next year, but by then you will have a better game plan). It is truly time to take care of yourself — display selflessness. I don’t mean selfishness. Selfishness means you are only thinking of yourself. Selflessness, to me, means you are taking care of yourself to help take care of others, to make both ends meet.

You are no good to those around you if you are not healthy physically and mentally. Sometimes, I think this is the hardest lesson (especially for women) to learn. It is hard to put yourself first. Yet every safety demonstration I’ve seen stresses I should do just that. I should put my life vest on first. I should put my mask on first. I should secure my seatbelt first. The demonstrator never says I should put my husband’s or child’s mask on first. That would be like asking me to politely commit suicide, which is not going to happen.

Long ago, I learned the difference between selfish and selfless. I always liked to have a home-cooked meal ready when my husband arrived home. It’s a little old fashioned, but if you’re home all day (woman or man) there should be a meal on the stove at least once a week — GOOD LORD! Back when I cooked, I expected a big trumpeted “thank you” at the end of the meal. It never came. I finally realized (after meal 762) that I wrote this script and hadn’t bothered to give a copy to my husband. He didn’t know I was expecting trumpets; he thought the flutist sitting at the end of the table was good enough. But didn’t he know I had rearranged my entire day to get this meal on the table? No. All he knew was that I cooked. It was good. He ate. He slept. All was right in his world. He had no idea my world was jacked up because I was trying to be Chef Glo, Super Cook!

That sacrifice was self-imposed and done selfishly. I do like to cook, but only when I like to cook. If it feels like I’m on an episode of Hell’s Kitchen, there’s a problem. I also realized this man was eating long before I met him; he knows how to survive.

I draw on this lesson all the time, especially when everyone is trying to stick to New Year’s resolutions. I believe if you’re going to do something, it doesn’t matter what time of year it is. If you want to lose weight, you can do it in the middle of a buffet line. If you want to stop smoking, you can do it hanging out with the fellas at a cigar bar. If you want to stop drinking, you can do it while the bartender is pouring you another. When you have a made-up mind, it doesn’t matter where you are.

Just take care of yourself — not just today, but every day. And if that means take a nap and forego the gym, do it. Are you really doing something good if you’re going to the gym sleepy? And finally, please don’t promise yourself that next year this time you will be a size six if you’ve never been a size six. I’m not saying you can’t do it. I’m saying you have to be mentally ready for that six, and not everyone is going to be happy that you are now at a size they haven’t been since age six. Just like for Super Cook, they will not strike up the trumpets.