It's too bad really. A few minutes ago I was minding my own business here at the desk, enjoying the last sticky-sweet, yet alarmingly cold, remnants of my morning coffee. I took a sip, and then it happened. I stumbled upon the ridiculousness that is the LFL, known to insiders as the Lingerie Football League. Coughing, spurting, gagging though my incomprehensible laughing-fit, coffee flowing from both nostrils like some slow-moving maple-syrupian volcano eruption, I could not, would not, believe my eyes. Fourteen athletes "” and by athletes I mean completely hot ex-Hooters waitresses dressed in lingerie "” take to the field in full-contact, partially clothed, half-field football. They mostly run "”passes usually end up incomplete "” being chased by their scantily clad counterparts, eager to slam their tight-bodied opponents into the ground. Bras are ripped, boobs go flying, and in one instance, in Lingerie Bowl III, one poor model started to cry (My apologies, to my mother, sister and grandmother for that detailed description). The League began as a pay-per-view stunt in 2004, the same year, oddly enough, that Justin Timberlake caused Janet Jackson's legendary "wardrobe malfunction." While millions of American households stared in disbelief as the King of Pop's little sister flashed a boob on stage, men (who were much smarter than I) were watching Team Dream and Team Euphoria battle it out on the gridiron in nothing more than their skivvies and a bit of padding. In case you were wondering, the Dreamsters whooped up on the Euphorians, 6-0. Needless to say, those with the golden insight into television history claimed the game a success (Duh!), and in 2005 a league was created and four teams formed "” the Los Angeles Temptation, New York Euphoria, Dallas Desire and the Chicago Bliss. This year, in preparation for Super Bowl XLIII, the LFL has expanded to 10 teams, adding expansions in Tampa Bay, Atlanta, Seattle, San Diego, Phoenix, and of course, Miami. In a recent interview, Chris Martin (not of Coldplay fame), business affairs director for the league, rejected the notion that women bashing against each other while wearing only a bra and panties is degrading. Well, what did you expect him to say? "To say it's degrading, well, these girls are empowered," Martin told the Tampa Tribune. "If you watch, this is not fluff football. We've had broken collarbones and busted knees. Sure, they are beautiful and that's how we draw the audience but the tenacity of the girls maintains that audience." Apparently the strategy is working. In the fall of 2009, the LFL is set to air its games on cable television (I would imagine Spike or some other similarly themed channel), and audiences for its Super Bowl halftime games are growing (ahem). The only question I have for the LFL is this: what in the world is taking you so long to get to Denver? That and just where in the hell did Refrigerator Perry come from in the above video? Thank god he kept his clothes on.